Crashing turtle, scapegoat teachers

Oh, well now it has morphed into an angry turtle springing off its' carpet of flames to soar high into the sky before crashing down upon Michigan. Go easy on em, little guy. That state has enough trouble, what with those greedy teachers ruining their economies.

And now, a word from our sponsor, Ford Motors!

Fire dog of patriarchy

Looking at the radar, we see that there is an enormous nervous dog that entered the region from the west riding a billowing wave of flame. Luckily, it seems to be moving along at a clipped pace. Probably worried about getting in trouble with the wife for being out at the lake so late. Ha ha ha! Misogyny gets me every time.

Now back to the station for more soccer highlights and celebrity news!